One thing that a lot of people struggle with is announcing pregnancy. I know for sure that it was something that I struggled with. Especially concerning the fact that I share a lot of my life on my personal blog. So, I always would ask myself when it was the right time to announce my pregnancy.
Now, if you are a first-time mom, there is always a certain pressure to either announce your pregnancy or keep it a hush-hush. For me, not only was it about being a first-time mom, but I also had to keep in mind that I had had a miscarriage before and was under threat of another one. Announcing pregnancy was not necessarily the most exciting thing I could have done.
Therefore, I waited till I gave birth to share everything with people about everything. Basically, it was not even about announcing my pregnancy, but rather announcing my baby. So, just when is the right time to announce that you will be a mommy?
When is the right time to announce your pregnancy?
From the different baby books that I read during the time I was expecting, a lot advised that it was best to announce in the second trimester. Others advised that it was best to announce in the 12th week, just as you are edging the end of the first trimester.
A lot of the experts stick to that advice mostly because, at 12 weeks, your baby has developed a heartbeat which makes the risk factor for miscarriage to drop to at least 5 or 10 percent. Therefore, as parents, you are more at rest with the survival rate of your baby.
However, other people choose to do it sooner for different reasons. One of the reasons is excited to share with family and friends the good news and the new addition to the family. Some share because they want to make sure their bosses and colleagues are aware sooner, in case the pregnancy and health put a strain on their work-life balance.
In my personal view, one should start announcing pregnancy when they totally feel like they are ready. While other factors like the health of both the mommy and the baby are considered, as parents, you should also consider your mental health. Pregnancy puts a hefty lot on mental health, so making sure you are emotionally and mentally ready to share is crucial.
At the same time, it is important to share with immediate family and close friends first before you jump the gun and share with the whole world. Also important is your workplace, so they can be alert of your maternity leave and start planning for your temporary replacement.
Announcing Pregnancy: How to tell family and friends
Announcing to Family
There are so many things to consider first before you decide to announce it to your family. Some of the things to consider are:
- Marital Status
- Financial Status
Just to mention a few. Why I put those three points up is solely based on my experience. Let me explain:
Firstly, I am an African woman who is not married and currently building my life and wound up pregnant. That alone is a recipe for disaster when it comes to announcing pregnancy to your family. This is because a lot of our African tradition is different from the western culture.
In a lot of African cultures, it is shameful for a woman to get pregnant without having a ring on her finger. And in most cases, if this happens, the family rushes to get you married to the man responsible as soon as possible before the public starts noticing your bump.
They will either rush you to get a white wedding done or will have a more traditional ceremony. Most times, those that refuse, easily become the black sheep of the family.
However, this is just for those that find themselves in the same predicament that I was in when I got pregnant.
Now, turn the page to announcing pregnancy to your family. Immediate family is best told in the early stages of your pregnancy. Unfortunately, I never got the chance to tell my mum because the woman saw the ‘pregnancy glow’ on me and confronted me about it.
The only issue with telling immediate family early is that they announce it to the world before you can do it by yourself. So, in order to have control of when others know, it is best to let them know that you are not ready for the public to know and therefore, they should keep it a secret. Make them pinky promise if you have to.
Announcing pregnancy to close friends
Just like you consider a lot when telling family, the same applies when announcing to friends. All you have to know is that there will be a judgment that you will receive, whether in person or behind your back. But, that is the essence of life.
Telling your close friends, especially those that you are always around is crucial. Doing it at an earlier time could help them understand all the changes you are going through and learn how to cope. It also helps that they are able to comfort you if anything bad such as a miscarriage happens (God forbid).
But again, it is important to make it clear to them that they are not to share the news with others until you and your partner feel like you are ready to share it with the world.
How you choose to tell them is totally up to you and how creative you can be. My best friend was on a call with me when my results came out, and that is how she knew that her godchild was in the making.
However, I found these ideas on announcing pregnancy to family and friends to be creative, read them here.
Announcing to everybody
At some point, it will not be a secret anymore. Your tummy will grow huge, and the evidence of the unprotected sex you partook in will be known to all mankind (LOL). Therefore, it will be time to break the awkward silence and tell everyone that your bun is cooking.
At the same time, a lot of people feel the pressure of social media to share with the world about the changes happening in their lives. So, using social media platforms would be the easiest way to share with the public that you are expecting to be a mommy.
Why I never announced my pregnancy to everybody?
Like I said, sharing with the world about your pregnancy is optional and one should never feel pressured to share with others. I for sure did not want to share for multiple reasons, some that I have already shared before.
The biggest reason like I said was my experience with my first pregnancy which I unfortunately miscarried. I never wanted to feel like I was jinxing it.
This time around, I also took into consideration the advice that was passed on to me by my mum and her friends, which was that you never announce a pregnancy. Let those that see you see that you are pregnant. The biggest reason for this is that as Africans, we believe in so many things and one of them is witchcraft.
Many believe that not everyone has the best intentions for you and will use any opportunity that rises to harm you. With that in mind, I chose to keep it to myself and those around me. For others to know, they had to have seen me walking around with the big sack in front of me to know that I was expectant.
However, you always have to remember to do what makes you happy. Do not be pressured by others, this is all about you. And if you are pregnant right now, congratulations.
Have any suggestions, simply share them in the comment section below.