When you don’t have kids, you find it funny when parents complain about how fast their babies are growing. I always just would laugh at them. Now here I am, wondering where the month went. Staring at him sleeping and I wonder when he got so big. I cannot believe it has been a month already, more so that we have survived it. Looking at him sleep in his basket, I thought it best to write a one-month-old baby update.
Being a new mom is both exciting and hard. Having to separate the reality from the fantasy of how I thought parenting would be during my pregnancy is something. Each day, I try to mentally note every new detail I learn about Evan. Often, I write it down in a journal to make sure that I have the memories for a while.
I am getting to the realization that soon, he will be crawling around the house and I will be stunned. Wondering where the time flew to.
Evan was born on the 1st December 2021 through an elective c-section. Now, let me do a run down of the update.
One-Month-Old Baby Update of Evan
A fever after birth
My idea of life after giving birth was that I would have my baby in my arms the moment I was out of the operation room. But, that was not the case at all. I actually had to wait for two hours before they released him from the nursery to come join me in my room.
He was perfect in every sense. I loved him when I was pregnant, but fell head over heels once I laid my eyes on him. I totally drunk him in, memorizing every small detail I could notice. Like how his earlobes were rolled inside just like mine and my mum’s. His tiny red line that runs from the right nose, ending just a little above his lips.
I wanted to make sure my brain knew him well, so I could see him in my eyes even when they were closed.
The moment I put him on the boob to breastfeed, little guy went to work latching. My first worry was that he could have issues latching, but he looked like a pro at it already. The only problem was that I could not produce any breast milk. I was quickly assured by the nurses that it was normal and was given tips to make sure that I could hasten the production.
Things took a turn the next day. Nurses advised my mum to take Evan for his bacille Calmette-Guérin vacinne, which he had in the morning. By noon, his whole body was burning up and he was red in the face. Immediately, my mum took him back to the nursery for a check. After diagnosis, she was advised that he had to stay there till the fever had gone down.
The rules of the nursery was that I was only allowed to see him every two hour interval to feed him. This was a test to me. I felt like I was given my child just to have him taken away yet again. But I knew to be patient because his welfare was a priority to me that anything else.
Each time I would visit, I would still put him on the boob for him to latch. Unfortunately, no milk was coming out of my boobs still. After a day, I could sit outside and hear my baby cry, and I knew that it was because of hunger. The thought that I could not provide to him was killing me. I felt like I was failing him. To make it worse, they did not allow us to introduce him to formula until I could be able to feed him.
So, there was my baby crying because of hunger and a fever. On the second day of him being in the nursery, I broke down. It hurt me to see him in the state that he was, it hurt that I could not be with him all the time, and it hurt that the fever seemed to be increasing at every hour, and it hurt that there seemed to be nothing I could do to take the pain away from him.
He started getting better on the eve of the 4th December, we were discharged from the hospital on the 6th. By this time, milk had started coming out and he could feed.
High Highs and Low Lows
During the days we have been home, there have been very high highs and some low lows. The best thing is that I get to see his face as I wake and sleep. That has to be the biggest blessing.
It has also been pleasing to see my mom morph into the grandma role. They are the bestest of friends, and yes, this is not the parent that raised me. She has suddenly become a mooshy person and it surprises me still sometimes. It is amazing to see how she dances around with him and how easily he falls asleep in her arms.
One of the lowest lows has been the tummy aches that have not passed yet. Again, when they start tormenting him, I often feel useless. He cries so badly and it just hurts my soul. A learning moment was when I complained to my mum that my c-section wound hurt so much and she told me that it was due to Evan’s unrest.
Made me realise why Malawian mums always remind us that the womb hurts when their babies are hurt in anyway or form.
On New Year’s Eve, after we spent close to an hour trying to calm him and then sleep finally caught up with him, I broke down again. I am starting to realise that I will break down a lot, there will be a lot of tears but things will get better.
Another high is seeing his toothless smile after a good feed, he smiles so wide and gives a good giggle. That alone tells me that we’re doing okay. Plus, he has grown a love for bath time, especially when it’s given by my mom.
One thing he does not love is a dirty daiper, he totally gets fuzzy if I take long to change him.
The unfortunate thing was that he was born when the heat was overwhelming, he spent all the days just dressed in a daiper. He had a bad heat rash, thank God the rains have started and the rash seems to be fading.
Another high is the amount of mom friends that I have made through this blog who have been very helpful by sharing tips and just being encouraging. As well as my friends who have made me sane by just checking in through texts or doing a physical drop to spend time with us.
Been amazing seeing him meet his family too, like my grandparents, uncles and aunts, my cousins and his cousins.
Products I have been using
Hakaa: Sharon, God bless her soul, got me a hakaa. It has been a lifesaver since. Being able to collect milk as he latches on the other boob is so helpful. The collected milk helps when he is being taken care of by my mom and I am not around to physically feed him. Also helps when I have pain in my nipples.
Johnson’s Baby Powder: This has been helpful especially with the heat rash that he developed. It also just helped keep him dry and not sweat as much.
I wrote this to share with you all but also as a reminder to myself of the journey that we have travelled so far. Let me know if you want me to write more updates of Evan in the months to come. I am bammed that I still haven’t taken any professional pictures of him, but I’ll take my time.